Friday, 03 July 2009

• Currently V for Vendetta (Widescreen Edition) By Hugo Weaving, Natalie Portman, Rupert Graves, Stephen Rea, Stephen Fry see related

  Bee in the Bathroom
  
    The first time she spotted it, it was dashing blindly against a wall.  Having been taken by surprise, she immediately grabbed her toothbrush and exacted her retreat.  After a fitful night of sleep, she woke up to find that some time during the night, it had suddenly become immensely preoccupied with the light bulb above.  Bracing herself for another surprise attack, she went about her routine with utmost caution, ascertaining its exact location whenever she had the chance.  It did not heed her, and carried on its minute perusal of the unoffending bulb instead. 

    Later that day, she chanced by the door that led to its lair.   Steeling herself, she carried out some swift and tactful reconnaissance by opening the door just a fraction and peeking through the narrow slit with one eye glued to the painted wood.   It had altered its position, and was now in full view, perched daintily upon an innocent toothbrush.  She sighed a deep breath of relief, for the toothbrush was not hers.  It was obviously expecting some kind of frontal attack, but she would not be fooled – there had to be some sinister trick behind its show of vulnerability.  She decided to let it be for the time being.  Her mind soon went wild in search of exotic ways to defeat her opponent without laying hands on it, including setting up a trap with a flower as bait and sucking it up using a vacuum cleaner. 
  

    The sun was just slipping below the horizon when she decided to have one last look, and then she would prepare for her attack.  Slowly and silently, she turned the doorknob, and pushed at the door ever so slightly.  Peering though the tiny slit, she perceived that it was no longer maintaining its former position.  Surges of panic coursed though her veins – had it gone into hiding?  Then some movement above caught her eye.  She jerked up to see it tightrope walking on the nylon gauze that covered the two bathroom windows, which were always left open for ventilation.  Apparently it had convinced itself that it was no match for her and had begun actively seeking retreat. 

    As it paced to and fro on the green gauze, so did her heart pace as she awaited her opportunity, for she saw very clearly now her path to victory.  Hence, still crouching tensely behind the door she awaited.  Soon her heart dropped, for it had turned and was slowly advancing towards her – and her towel.  Gritting her teeth, she shot out one hand and grabbed the towel to safety.  It didn’t even flinch.  Still exhilarated by her success, she grew bolder.  It was starting back the way it came now, and as soon as its back was turned, she stealthily slipped into its lair and deftly lifted up one corner of the gauze.  It turned again, and she was sent scrambling back to her base.  Even so, a glimmer of hope flashed across her face, and her eyes glinted with resolve, for her victory had thus been assured – now it was merely a matter of time.  With soft words she whispered through the hairline crack, encouraging, goading it to come towards her.  It did, but at a nerve-wrecking pace of one tiny step forward per second. 

    At times it seemed as if it almost wanted to turn back, as if it sensed some hidden danger, and when that happened sweat would break out across her forehead as she alternated between persuading and threatening it to advance.  Seconds passed like an eternity, and slowly but surely, it neared the opening which marked, ironically, its freedom as well as her victory.
  

    At long last, it seemed to have finally noticed a break in the gauze, and ventured slowly forward, feelers twitching nervously.  When it reached the very edge, it suddenly lurched forward, and crashed rather clumsily into the window with was only slightly ajar.  However, it somehow managed to fumble to the edge of the window… and just like that, it had disappeared from her life forever.  Jubilantly she reentered the lair and replaced the gauze with victory etched proudly on her face.    
  

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  Okay, so maybe I am somewhat entomophobic at times.  But then again, so what?  Nearly everyone is.
  

  
  

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